You made good choices in the sound design. Dissolves may have worked better as transitions for your jump cuts at the table that show passage of time. The clock was a good device but you could have used it more. There was a moment in the middle where there was a very quick cut to black. It seemed like a mistake but it could have been used as an effective transition throughout. You needed a change in the visual to mark the transition where you fade out and the music shifts from rain to clock. The last shot did not seem to follow the emotion. You were smiling throughout and seemed to expect the visitors. It would work better if it was a surprise. This is good storytelling. Following my notes would strengthen the concept.
You made good choices in the sound design. Dissolves may have worked better as transitions for your jump cuts at the table that show passage of time. The clock was a good device but you could have used it more. There was a moment in the middle where there was a very quick cut to black. It seemed like a mistake but it could have been used as an effective transition throughout. You needed a change in the visual to mark the transition where you fade out and the music shifts from rain to clock. The last shot did not seem to follow the emotion. You were smiling throughout and seemed to expect the visitors. It would work better if it was a surprise. This is good storytelling. Following my notes would strengthen the concept.
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